Intro: Gm Gm Bb/G Mary Long is a hypocrite C/G Gm She does all the things that she tells us not to do Bb/G Selling filth from a corner shop C/G Gm And knitting patterns to the high street queue Bb/G She paints roses, even makes them smell good C/G Gm And then she draws titties on the khazy wall Bb/G Drowns kittens just to get a thrill C/G Gm And writes sermons in the Sun-day Chronicle Eb Bb F C Gm How did you lose your virginity, Ma-ry Long Bb F C7 When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long Mary told Johnny not to write such trash Said it was a waste of public money She made a fuss, they made apologies But everybody thought the show was funny When the nation knew you'd had children It came as such a surprise We really didn't know you'd had it in you How you did it we can only surmise How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long Mary Long, you're not alone But you're a long way behind our times What we do in full frontal view Is more honest than your clean-up mind What I'm saying, Mary Long is When you can spare a minute Go find your friend the porny Lord Dig your self a hole and jump in it How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long
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